I'm sitting here with blood on my face. I look like I've just been in an auto accident. But it's a type of imitation blood. And it's thanks to GWAR.
When I arrived in Austin this afternoon, I was very stoked for this weekend (still stoked as I write). I'd been in Austin before for a conference and I enjoyed the city very much. I have a much more open opportunity to explore this time around. I was a fool and booked my hotel 20 minutes from the FFFFest (pronounced ffffft fest) but sometimes you can't beat Priceline on short notice. Unfortunately that meant I needed a rental car. Should have thought this one through more.
But hell with understanding, let's get to the experience! I showed up at 5 pm because I had spent my entire day up to that point traveling/checking in to my hotel. The first band that caught my eye was Os Mutantes. I'd seen them a few years back with The Flaming Lips at the Hollywood Bowl. They left a much deeper impression in my mind this time around. Sergio Dias, lead singer and co-creator of the band in the 1960s, still has remarkable chemistry with his band and displays an obvious passion for his guitar. He was so full of life and energy during the performance. Their spanish lyrics left most audience members a little confused, and as a result Os Mutantes came off as a cute, talented act worthy of a strong applause.
Cap'n Jazz played their final show at FFFFest. Even though Cap'n Jazz has only released one full-length album (which was later included in a comprehensive anthology), they have been a tremendous musical influence in the emo (let's halt debate on emo vs. pop punk vs. whatever the hell you want to call Cap'n Jazz...now) scene. Tim Kinsella has expressed contentment with ending the Cap'n Jazz project and it's noticeable by the way he was visibly exhausted from playing the cornet. His awkward dialogue on stage did nothing to detract from a performance that sounded exactly like the studio versions of Cap'n Jazz's songs. Their famous rendition of "Take on Me" was excellent and fans who were not very familiar with the band were noticeably impressed. Their last show was very nonchalant. Their musical production over the last two decades has labeled them an understated band that had a matching last performance.
After Cap'n Jazz, I headed over to see a very old favorite of mine, The Vandals, from Orange County, CA. The first two acts I witnessed were at the Orange stage, and the next three acts I would watch were at the Black stage. There are four stages in all at the FFF Fest. These are the popular two. At the Black stage, things got a little crazy.
The Vandals were 3/4 complete, consisting of Dave Quackenbush (their hilarious singer), Warren Fitzgerald (their hilarious guitarist), and Joe Escalante (their not-so-hilarious-yet-extremely-talented bassist). Where was Josh Freese??? Who knows, but Derek Grant of Alkaline Trio stepped in for the drum role (pun!). He's been doing that on-and-off since 1998 so he knew the songs pretty well (although Quackenbush [jokingly?] announced Derek had 0 notice and no sound check!). The Vandals played a very powerful set and did it right for the FFF Fest. They stayed within their tight schedule (the bands had about an hour each), played hard and fast, and got the crowd very involved (even though most were there for GWAR and Bad Religion). The Vandals have the ability to sound very contrived yet they often improvise with jokes and their instruments mid-performance to make each song fun to watch and hear. Today was not different, and The Vandals cycled through hits like Pizza Tran, Anarchy Burger, and I Want to be a Cowboy (very fitting for Texas). Warren Fitzgerald led the closing cover of "Don't Stop Me Now" with a child-like enthusiasm as he fell all over the stage and commanded the crowd with direct participation instructions. It was very professional, the pit was rocking with mild oscillations, and many had fun.
Then GWAR played. It took them about 20 minutes after The Vandals played to get going. The Black stage is very large and has a divider in the middle to allow bands to rotate and play back-to-back while letting tear-down take place for the previous band during the current performance. It's a great system...if the bands follow their schedule. But I'll get to that shortly.
GWAR began with theatrics that would have offended any typical citizen. Of any country. GWAR uses rubber, foam, and other composites to construct their elaborate, disgusting models that they pretend to weaponize, violate, and murder while on stage. For example...GWAR opened (good choice of words!) with visuals more than music. Their metal riffs and mastery of guitars were overshadowed during their entire performance by their continuous display of shocking imagery. Their first victims were a couple politicians whose heads they promptly sawed off with their oversized swords. These politicians bled excessive (understatement!) 50 foot streams blood through pressurized units embedded (conveniently) in their necks and onto the crowd for over a minute. This was only the beginning.
GWAR's next song, "Hail, Genocide", was complemented with a dog that was torn open so its entrails fell over the stage, and it was used as a blood gun where its entire volume was emptied on the crowd for the entirety of the song. This is pretty sick. I was covered in the blood pretty quickly. But there was more.
Sarah Palin was also a GWAR victim (who they'll add to the list of famous figures they've brutally tortured and killed onstage). She was cut open and torn from the waist down...and yes, blood was everywhere. Repeat this for every song, add a couple of phalli being eaten, monsters being beaten to death with their own limbs, ressurected, and then beaten to death again. And add other stuff that was unspeakable.
Add 20 minutes past their time as well. While they were having a pleasant massacre, Bad Religion's roadies were infuriated because GWAR had gone well over time. The crowd began to chant BAD RE-LIG-ION to the beat of GWAR's final songs. It wasn't funny anymore. It was time for GWAR to go. So GWAR sprayed the hell out of the Bad Religion chanters. That's when I got the most crap on me. It was annoying. I've never seen anything like it.
Once they got off the stage, Bad Religion's roadies needed 20 more minutes to get their audio checked. Everyone was frustrated, but once the show got underway...
I was about 5 feet from the stage. I figured I wouldn't be standing in the same spot when the show ended. There were at least a thousand crowd members in that area (the Waterloo Park where the FFF Fest is located can hold 10,000) to watch Bad Religion.
Let's get something straight. It's been a while since I've been in the pit. It's been a while since I experienced this type of concert environment. Even so, I knew that standing in the front would be a challenge.
I was crushed from the start. Everyone in the front was being crushed, pushed and pulled side to side, and folks were beginning to fall and get hurt. One girl fell and hit her head pretty badly and had to be seen by medical staff. That's only from what I saw. After getting kicked in the head 5 times from crowdsurfers, punched and headlocked...I had enough and took a spot to the right of the stage. But I was front and center with Greg Graffin for 5 songs. Growing up, I was never able to attend a Bad Religion show because of parental restrictions by very conservative parents. My Bad Religion CDs were always returned to the store. Obviously, that kind of reaction inspires even more interest for the child.
Bad Religion has aged but their performance on this 30th anniversary tour showcases that their talent outweighs any indication of age factoring into their ability. The audience was stoked. Like most punk shows with large crowds, kids will make it to the stage. And many did, jumping into the crowd, and surfing to their favorite songs. Some girls got dropped on their heads. That just happens. Bad Religion captivated with Generator, Against the Grain, Suffer, I Want to Conquer the World, American Jesus, Infected, Sorrow, and their now-infamous closer, Fuck Armageddon This is Hell. It was a furious set and a powerful performance from a band that does not appear to have retirement in sight.
Overall, Saturday was an overwhelming day. I was elated, disturbed, and mesmerized. There was so much cigarette and marijuana smoke (mixed with minimal entrance screening). I'm surprised there wasn't a lot of harder drugs and liquor, but I'm sure that will be exposed tomorrow. People were having heavy make-out sessions, mental-breakdowns, and 1 in 3 nerds had their glasses broken. Sometimes all at once. It wasn't a concert, it was a festival, and I'm very excited for the bands on Sunday.
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